"Exposing Cult Behaviors in Politics and Society: Lessons from Daniella Mestyanek Young’s Uncultured"

Today, I’m exploring the depths of a compelling memoir that has truly opened my eyes: "Uncultured" by Daniella Mestyanek Young. Daniella's story is a gripping account of her life within the Children of God cult, taking us through the complexities of manipulation, indoctrination, and ultimately, her brave escape to find freedom and self-identity.

          This book will leave you unsettled, as it should. The powerful memoir provides an unflinching look at her life growing up in the Children of God cult, revealing the systematic abuse she endured and the misogyny and gaslighting she faced in the military. This book wrecked me emotionally; I sobbed for days whenever I thought about the events in this book and the suffering she endured. Daniella’s words filled me with a mix of anger and sadness. As the daughter of high-ranking members of the cult, she experienced unimaginable pain and deprivation, being told that her abuse was a reflection of God's love while also being deprived of an education. Her experiences highlight the insidious nature of manipulation and control.

I found myself reflecting on the powerful themes of control and loyalty that are prevalent in her narrative. Daniella's experiences made me reconsider how cult-like behaviors can emerge in various aspects of life, including our current political landscape. With the upcoming elections and Trump's recent speeches weighing heavily on my mind, it’s hard not to draw parallels between the manipulation she describes and the fervent loyalty we see in some political circles today.

Daniella offers a clear definition of what constitutes a cult, which is crucial for understanding the dynamics at play in her life and the lives of those around her. Here are the key characteristics she highlights:

1. Charismatic Leadership and their skinny white women: The presence of a magnetic leader who commands loyalty and adoration.
2. Worldview shift that brings you under the sacred assumption: A redefinition of reality that creates a fearful environment, fostering dependency on the group.
3. The transcendent mission: A belief that the group has a unique purpose or mission that sets it apart from the rest of society.
4. Self-sacrifice of members: Members are often expected to give up personal desires and needs for the benefit of the group.
5. Limits access to the outside world: A deliberate effort to isolate members from external influences that might challenge the group’s ideology.
6. Distinguishable vernacular: The use of unique language or jargon that distinguishes group members and reinforces in-group solidarity.
7. Us vs. them mentality: A strong division between insiders and outsiders, fostering loyalty among members while vilifying non-members.
8. Exploits members’ labor: Members often work for the benefit of the group with little to no compensation.
9. High entrance and exit costs: Significant emotional, financial, or social penalties for leaving the group or questioning its practices.
10. Ends justify the means mentality: A belief that any action taken for the group’s cause is justified, regardless of morality.

Listening to Daniella’s story in Uncultured has been particularly eye-opening. I’ve also been following her almost obsessively as the Knitting Cult Lady on social media. Her insights into cult behaviors help illuminate just how deeply those characteristics can seep into our society. It’s a reminder that the mechanisms of control are not confined to closed-off groups; they can surface in unexpected places, like political movements or popular ideologies.

Daniella emphasizes that the cult of white supremacy and patriarchy has conditioned many women to be quiet, thin, and non-unique. This complicity fosters silence among women who support harmful systems, often only speaking up when it benefits them personally. This toxic dynamic is part of the broader conversation about how certain women support and uphold oppressive structures.

One particularly striking aspect of Daniella's insights is her discussion of "skinny white women" and their roles within cultic systems. According to her, this category of women can be understood through three subtypes:

• The Pretty Sidekick: This woman makes the leader appear more palatable, often embodying qualities like sweetness and non-confrontation. Think of pastoral wives or press secretaries who soften their male counterparts' edges. They may be beautiful yet voiceless, simply there to support and affirm the masculinity of the men in power, like Melania Trump.
• The Secret Controller: This type appears similar to the pretty sidekick but actually influences and controls things behind the scenes. These women, such as Ron DeSantis's wife, often wield power through proximity to male authority figures. They may initially align with the sidekick role but aspire for power themselves.
• The Leader by Proximity: The ultimate "skinny white woman" who rises to power within the cultic structure, gaining what she perceives to be true authority. This can be seen in figures like Elizabeth Holmes and Cheryl Sandberg, who challenge societal norms of female power. When they step out of line, society often relishes their downfall more than if they were men, revealing deep-seated biases about female authority.

Personally, I do not want to be part of the silent majority of white women.  As a Village Witch, I encourage those to be part of a sisterhood, a community of women who will stand up and speak out.

This blog is the first of a multi-part series where I’ll explore these ideas further. In my upcoming posts, I’ll discuss the alarming rhetoric we hear from political figures, especially Trump, and how his language echoes historical events that shaped the world we live in. I’ll also touch on voting changes and concerns, alongside Project 2025, a political initiative that has sparked significant debate and justified concern. Additionally, I will share my thoughts on the military from the perspectives of a wife, daughter, sibling, and cousin.

Together, let’s reflect on the lessons learned from "Uncultured". Daniella’s story is not just a personal memoir; it’s a lens through which we can examine the broader societal issues we face today. I invite you all to read her book and join me in this exploration, challenging our thoughts and remaining vigilant against the forces that seek to control us.

I hope her story ignites the same hope in you as it has in me. I am eager to see how her next book, "The Culting of America", will examine similar thoughts and ideas as my blog, and what new insights she brings that I may have missed.

Stay tuned for the next installment, where Chat and I will dig into the concerning parallels between Trump’s rhetoric and historical events that should never be forgotten.